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Communication Issues

They're threatening self-harm to get their way

8 min read

By Michael J. Wilson Jr., CIP, CFI · Author of Loving Lions, Interventionist, and Family-Recovery Specialist · Last reviewed June 19, 2026

Quick answer

Responding appropriately to self-harm threats that may be manipulation while ensuring genuine safety when risk is real.

Situation Recognition

Self-harm threats during addiction create impossible dilemmas for families. You must take all threats seriously while recognizing that threats are sometimes used manipulatively to avoid consequences or access resources.

Michael Wilson's Insight

"Take every threat seriously by involving appropriate professionals, but don't let threats control your boundaries." Professional resources can assess genuine risk while you maintain necessary family boundaries.

Comprehensive Guidance

Immediate response to any self-harm threat:

  • Take all threats seriously regardless of suspected motivation
  • Contact 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline immediately
  • Do not attempt to assess risk yourself—involve professionals
  • Document threats with specific details and timing
  • Follow professional guidance about appropriate response

After professional assessment:

  • Maintain boundaries that were threatened to be changed
  • Express love while refusing to be controlled by threats
  • Recognize that genuine mental health needs require professional treatment
  • Don't reward threats by changing rules or providing resources
  • Continue encouraging treatment for both addiction and mental health

Implementation Steps

  1. Always involve professionals for any self-harm threat
  1. Follow their guidance about immediate safety planning
  1. Document patterns if threats occur repeatedly
  1. Maintain family boundaries regardless of threats
  1. Encourage comprehensive treatment addressing both issues

What to Expect

Professional assessment will determine appropriate response to specific threats. Manipulative threats often decrease when they don't control family decisions. Genuine mental health needs require professional treatment alongside addiction recovery.

Professional Resources

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - Immediate response to any self-harm threat

911 if immediate danger exists

East Point Behavioral Health: (855) 887-6237 - Family guidance after assessment

Key Takeaways

Take every threat seriously by involving appropriate professionals
Do not attempt to assess self-harm risk yourself
Maintain boundaries that were threatened to be changed
Document patterns if threats occur repeatedly
Professional assessment will determine appropriate response

Ask Michael

They're threatening self-harm to get their way

Talk this through with Michael, the author — he’ll pick it up right where you are. Included with Premium.

Need Personal Guidance?

This scenario provides general guidance. For your specific situation, consider professional support from the East Point team.

This guidance is educational and reflects the author’s lived and professional experience. It is not a substitute for professional medical, clinical, or legal advice. If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 988 or 911.